Anonymous asked: When my boyfriend whips me, he does it until I'm black and blue and he occasionally causes me to bleed. I cry and beg and safeword, but he keeps hitting me and says that since it is a punishment, my safeword isn't valid. I love him, and normally he is very rational, but I'm terrified that eventually, he will permanently hurt me. What should I do?
Dear anon, this is obviously not ok and it needs to stop. Playing without safewords, or suspending them temporarily for a session, is something that people can do responsibly - but that only works when everyone is on the same page and there is a lot of earned trust. This isn’t the case here, and your worries of being permanently injured are frankly completely justified in the face of repeated consent violations.
This is a classic example of BDSM play crossing into abuse. The concept of punishment, whether deserved or not, is not carte blanche to take things as far as the top wants without taking the bottom’s physical and mental limits into consideration.
You need to have a very serious conversation about limits, safewords, how a punishment should feel, etc. What is ok and not ok during scenes, whether for punishment or play, is negotiated between the two of you - not dictated by him. And you need to be prepared to enforce your boundaries, which might include leaving this relationship. The fact that your partner is “rational” most of the time is not a reason to tolerate abuse when he isn’t.
When you don’t feel fundamentally safe in your relationship, whether kinky or vanilla - something is extremely wrong. Fix this, anon, before something terrible happens.
A proudly gay man gets offended when a coworker raises some complaints with his behavior around the office.
Sometimes things aren’t the way we think they are.
how did I see that coming
also this is how I imagine tumblr in cubicles, at least the parts where some people are overly sexual about everything and assume when someone doesn’t like their stuff their homophobic, or transfobic or any other phobic
still though it’s a great video
i fucking love this video
Holy shit key and peele why are you so amazing?
This is Tumblr’s social justice side to a bloody tea.
So…I’m finally playing Assassin’s Creed Black Flag (Duckling gave it to me for Christmas. It’s the first in the series I’ve ever played). It’s super fun, and awesome…but then all of a sudden I find out that the game takes place in a virtual reality “Abstergo Industries” thing? WTF? Are others in the series like this? I still find the game cool, but it just caught me off guard and surprised the hell out of me. For those of you that have played the game (I’m like 2% into it so please no spoilers), do you LIKE the virtual reality thing, or do you find it silly?